To not worry

Its hard to write something inspiring or positive when you just want it to stop, just for a moment. A moment of no worry for my girl.

That worry infests so much of our lives. She has been very ill since the procedure, and continues to be. It is scary seeing her body working hard to fight the virus that has also infected her parents. We are over the virus in a few days, Abbey is looking at 3 weeks.

She has been so lucky with minor illness this year, just the odd snotty nose. But this, this is scary. Her body does not react like ours has. Back to the doctor to check all is ok, again … her lungs are clear, the virus is moving on.

The experience has us thinking how to cope with the next one. What do we need to change so that it will be easier? Honestly there is not a lot, its more about being ok reaching out to our network to ensure life can keep moving along for the boys and our own respective jobs.

Reaching out has been hard this time, as we are asking more often. Its primarily getting the boys to places they need to be, including school and Scouts. Abbey cannot travel when she is this ill and we need to be present in case. The boys understand if we cannot find a solution that does not overly inconvenience another, it just won’t happen.

Im now resolved that there will come a time when the boys may need to be home schooled with the assistance of their teachers, as we need to be together as a family or they need a break from the outside world.

Its all just moving a little faster than we would like.

Professional Help

It is vital to pursue the help you need. To fight those voices saying ‘you can do it – should be able to do it – by yourself’, or that ‘what you currently have is enough’.

I see a psychologist who helps me understand what is ‘normal’ in a very abnormal situation. I have been concerned that my sadness is leading me down a path of depression, but after today’s appointment, it turns out I’m normal.

Those closest to me cannot tell me if my reactions are normal. My husband knows me the best, but even he cannot be 100% certain that my reactions are healthy.

Reaching out for professional help is vital when you don’t know, or when you are not moving forward, or when life feels like it is too much.

Mental health is too important to try to manage alone. I’ll be back in 3 months for a check in.