Coming Home from America

I’ve been home about a week. I’ve had the privilege of completely changing my surroundings and going on an adventure. My brain and body received the rest and excitement they needed.

Coming home though, has been an adventure in itself. So many events have occurred this week.

– An unwell Abbey without any direct cause saw her in Emergency, 2 days after I arrived home. She is still not right, and the doctors don’t know why. Now we hop on the carousel of doctors, therapists and tests to find out what is happening to make her comfortable.

– Doctors changing appointments which changes our weeks!

– boys are super busy with scouts and school. Things are winding up for the year and I know I start to struggle with the added load.

– James did not have the opportunity to make a huge impact on construction of the front wheelchair ramp while I was away due to 2 weeks of rain. With fine weather this week we have worked hard to get the frame in. It feels wonderful to see it coming out of the ground.

Coming home has put me back into my roles very quickly. There has been no time to ease in and pick up the threads gradually. The trip away helped to restore a lot of my confidence, especially in managing Home life.

What I had not expected was the huge weight of the emotional burden that comes with being Abbeys Mum and carer. It melted away when I was off adventuring. It hit me in the chest the first day home. I know I can handle all of the events and chaos. It’s the emotional heaviness that sits in my chest and just behind the eyes. The love, the frustration and the wanting more, it never ceases. This is what makes the carer role so much more exhausting.

I’m ecstatic to be home.