Sometimes you need to let the puzzle fall apart to realign the pieces.

Sometimes you need to let the puzzle fall apart to realign the pieces.

It has been a sad week, to be honest. Mentally coming down and processing our trip to Hummingbird House plus changing patterns to the seizures for Abbey, yet again. It’s been a very long week, with some other personal concerns.

Reinforcements finally arrived home yesterday to take some of the load. This morning my brain crashed as I had my safety net back. The need to hold it altogether for the family, finally failed.

Letting it all fall apart was the best move today. Lots of tears and some undignified sobbing meant all the emotion is released. Now I can move towards my best again.

Photo a day for 2018

On 13 December 2017, I decided to start the 365 day countdown again for a couple of reasons:
– there is so much happening for Abbey and our family, I cannot succinctly put it into a weekly post.
– I am having a lot of trouble keeping everyone updated on our adventures. 
– I have missed meeting new people through this process.
– and I think it’s good for my own mental health.

I hope you will join me for another 365 days sharing my life as Abbeys carer. I can promise it’s not going to be bland!

Today I start with some very bland reading to continue my research for the NDIS. A meeting with our social worker suggestion I go through these thrilling documents to understand what is on offer, then structure our goals for Abbey.

My Abbey is great today. Her ability to walk assisted is coming back, to her great enjoyment. She had a rough week of seizures and walking was a little difficult.

Tennille and Abbey

Unicorns, Onesies and Anxiety

Keeping my sanity and staying mentally healthy is a challenge every day. Staying present and not being overwhelmed by it all is hard some days.

Keeping busy, just to be busy is not the solution. 
Having a drink with girlfriends is not the solution.
Taking a 5 minute break is not a solution.

It’s taken 12 years to find what works for me, and as new challenges present with Abbeys Care, I need to adapt. That in itself adds pressure.

I’ve been down the deep hole of depression and anxiety. I still have the odd small anxiety attack, and challenge my mental state every day to stay on top.

What I know now that I didn’t in the beginning is:
– I have not failed my child and that my love and support for her is enough.
– I know my child better than anyone else. I can learn from and with her specialists.
– accepting help is a sign of courage, not weakness.
– caring for myself is paramount to the success of Abbeys care. And if I don’t know what I need, then to try everything I can to find it again.

Photo: trying out being silly in public for my small biz to laugh at myself more!