Coming Home from Hummingbird House

Since coming home from Hummingbird House there is a small amount of fear. The fear of the unknown now becoming more known.

The situation cannot be compared to having your first child, but that fear of the unknown and finally having that child in your arms, puts you firmly on a journey going forward that you need to work out as each day passes.

Since the palliative word entered the vocabulary it was easy to slowly inject it into our day to day. To look at my girl in a slightly different light. To know we had started on this next journey, albeit walking around in circles it seems

Being at Hummingbird has finalised for me that this journey is coming to an end. I have always known this, but I had never thought of the process as having a beginning, then a path. It was always just an end. The crap of day to day, then an end.

As the seizures continue to evolve (very quickly in the last 3 weeks) and their consequences, as we reach out to services and people trained in this area, we are being eased onto the new path.

For the first time we are supported, besides just being loved and cared for. For the first time, I have access to a place if it all becomes too much. For the first time, Im not 100% reliant on James.

This is a wonderful place to start, however scary it is.